A Taste of Forgiveness... making the world a better place
Jan 10, 2021
Saying For Today: The patient needed someone to remind her of what is true, more true than her past and present sense of guilt, and more potent than the depression that hovered over her mind and heart.
'The Grace of Solitude'
Overlook, Back River, Georgetown Island, ME
Note: This is the first writing here since the attack on the United States Capitol building. This writer wishes to note a strong disagreement with Donald J. Trump - even prior to this last week, he abdicated the use of "president" for this man - and with all he, with his enablers - citizens, politicians, evangelicals, ... have done to rob voters of their rightful votes, and, additionally, mislead and weaken trust in Democracy here and abroad. This writer is thankful for the election of President Biden and Vice President Harris. May our nation heal. May Grace lead and over-shadow both our new President and Vice President. May the Light shine brightly in the darkness, and Love vanquish hate. And may we find peace to remain in our hearts while we speak and act for justice for all and against the prejudice of those who seek to disbar others from the blessings of full rights and equal participation in this nation and world. Indeed, we pray for the time to come when nationalism, including the prominent 'Christian' nationalism, will be swallowed up in the unity that we all are brothers and sisters, citizens together of the world, and offspring of One Life.
Peace to all! Brian K. Wilcox Maine, USA January 10, 2021
If you cannot access the video here, it can be viewed on the original site via the upper left vocalist-title...
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I was a counselor for a woman in a mental health clinic, and she was diagnosed with major depression. She was a Christian. One day, I looked at her, eye-to-eye, and seeing those sad eyes, said, "Forgiveness is not something God gives you; forgiveness is you accepting that you're already forgiven." Her sad eyes became lit with joy. She had tasted the grace of forgiveness.
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Alan Cohen, in his The Grace Factor, shares the following -
When Ayden Byle moved into Toronto's Cedarvale neighborhood, he had a bright idea. Just for fun, he began to scribe inspiring thoughts on a chalkboard and post them in his living room window. "One simple hello could change everything" got passersby's attention. "Is there any place better than here?" moved them to think deeper. Soon neighbors and commuters were going out of their way to walk or drive past Ayden's window, hoping for an insight that might make their day more worthwhile. One day a sign showed up in Ayden Byle's window that could make all the difference in a lifetime if the reader grasped its true message:
Grace trumps karma.
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Forgiveness happens for it is. One cannot point to an end or beginning of forgiveness. No one can point to a moment and say, "Then I was forgiven." One cannot say, "This was when forgiveness was complete."
Forgiveness cannot happen unless it is, for unforgiveness cannot be forgiveness. Hence, one is forgiven before one is forgiven.
What we call, practically, being forgiven means reception of a gift given. Yet, if it is not, how can it become? And because it is, I could announce to the patient forgiveness was waiting for her. This waiting for her means forgiveness was not dependent on her in any way; yet, her experience of forgiveness did include her response. Forgiveness is free of us while it includes us. Forgiveness and being forgiven form a unity.
What still intrigues me about that moment with the patient was the suddenness of the realization. As soon after I spoke the words, without her needing to pray for forgiveness, the woman's face lit up with joy. Her heart-longing for forgiveness was prayer - saying a prayer was not the need. Hence, the announcement of forgiveness spurred an immediate conversion of the sense of and burden of guilt to innocence.
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If we look into the Christian Gospels, Jesus often announces forgiveness to persons. This forgiveness is usually linked with healing. Still, he never claims to forgive anyone, such as, "I forgive you." Neither does he attribute the forgiveness to God, or the One he calls "my Father."
Here, I do not deny in the Christian Scripture "God" is represented as forgiving - a forgiver. I am saying Jesus provides an image of forgiveness more evolved, one attuned to our best understandings of how the Way manifests. This wisdom means forgiveness is not removed from Life; forgiveness is not something happening in Life, it is one way Life is happening. One is not merely forgiven, one participates in forgiveness. Forgiveness is, then, something Life is and does in intimacy with Itself, including all involved in forgiveness.
I say these words partly to offer an option for the models of forgiveness no longer workable for most humans, as they are based on guilt-innocence in a legal sense. This legal, transactional sense includes equating "forgiveness" with "being acquitted" - a common misunderstanding. To become more forgiving, we need to jettison teachings that make forgiveness more difficult and less likely. Also, how we see forgiveness affects how we see grace and vice versa.
In a strict sense, and I believe correct, we cannot - as the Jesus sayings show us - forgive anyone. We can only participate in forgiveness. I can never forgive anyone; I can, however, invite myself to be part of the forgiveness.
I found it helpful when discovering the idea of forgiveness in the Jewish and Christian Scriptures is, based on the Hebrew (Jewish) language, "to release." Forgiveness is a release of, or from - Have we not felt that joy? We do not let go, the letting go happens to us. Was this not true of my patient, as all her past sense of failure - of being a failure - disappeared in a moment? - One could say it might come back. Yet, the return is the opportunity for it to drop again until it has no power to return - or, at least, holds less sway over her heart and mind. Again, forgiveness is a process; it is a timeless act, while its realization is a process in time.
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Forgiveness is not a transaction. Mary Trump, a niece of the United States' out-going - whom many call - president, has spoken, essentially, "All relationships between my uncle and others are transactional in nature" - quid pro quo. This transactional model is the image many have of God or the universe - the latter as in karma, the former as in the ultra-conservative evangelicals' legalistic image of the Divine and, hence, their belief that Spirit can hold accountable all "non-believers" who simply disagree with Him, or Her. Does this have any reflections in the present political scene in the United States? And, anyway, who wants a god who teaches us always to forgive, while that deity reserves the right to hold persons in unrelenting unforgiveness and, hence, captive to eternal damnation? This god-image is one which says, "Vote for me - the way we vote - or damn you." - I am hopeful one sees how social unrest and prejudice, including supremacist ideologies, are linked with what is taught religiously to many millions in the United States.
Simply put, as in all things, so with forgiveness, we do not have a transactional relationship either theistically or non-theistically - with God or the universe. Grace inserts into our worldview an element of mystery that cannot fit cause-and-effect models of how God or the universe relates with us. The tit-for-tat models are based on a linear view of time. Grace does not fit in time. Grace does not play by the rules of sequence. Grace, so forgiveness, is untouched by "deserve" and "do not deserve." We cannot find freedom in time, but we can enjoy freedom in time.
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A young man, while roaming the desert, came across a spring of delicious, crystal-clear water. The water was so sweet he filled his leather canteen, for he wanted to take some back to a tribal elder. The elder had been his teacher. After a four-day journey, he presented the water to the elder. The elder took a deep drink, smiled warmly, and thanked his student lavishly for the sweet water. The young man returned to his village with a gladdened heart.
Later, the elder gave another student a taste of the water. He spat it out, calling it awful. He challenged the wise one, saying, "Master, the water was foul. Why did you pretend to like it?" "You only tasted the water," the elder replied, "I tasted the gift."
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The proof that forgiveness is, like all graces, in the tasting. I recall with joy the moment I invited the woman to the taste of forgiveness. I have no recall of having ever spoken those words before then. Why they came to mind at that moment, I do not know, except Life knew she needed to hear the words to feel our innocence - our, for within us all, underneath the haze of our refusal to forgive ourselves, forgiveness shines brightly in its readiness for us. The patient needed someone to remind her of what is true, more true than her past and present sense of guilt, and more potent than the depression that hovered over her mind and heart.
Sometimes, we speak what is true for another so that it may become true for her. That, too, is the mystery of Grace. Then, one becomes one with the forgiveness of the other, both participating. Hence, the taste of one is the same as that of the other. Here, one cannot find where "I forgive" and "I am forgiven" is separate, for it is not.
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*(C) Brian K. Wilcox, 2021
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse. The book is a collection of poems based on mystical traditions, especially Christian and Sufi, with extensive notes on the teachings and imagery in the poetry.
